


The problem with gaining something precious, is that it can always be taken away

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: From Beginning to Hell [2]
Category: Sengoku Basara
Genre: Blood and Injury, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Masamune and Yukimura had come a long way from their rocky beginnings, but there was still miles to go. And in times of conflict, even that which is most precious to you must be put on the line.
Relationships: Date Masamune/Sanada Yukimura
Series: From Beginning to Hell [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590043
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/vxTVpefYyB).

Masamune and Yukimura had found their middle ground that day. They still fought one another, albeit, with a touch more care than they’d taken before, after all, they didn’t want to kill one another now that they’d finally reached this point – although Kojuro and Sasuke still had to question that when they got a little too enthusiastic. And they fought beside one another, the time they’d taken fighting one another, making it seem like they danced together on the battlefield now, blue and red turning to a magenta that would strike fear in the hearts of their enemies.

Unsurprisingly perhaps, it had been Yukimura who had first uttered the three words that they had been dancing uneasily around for the past few months. They’d talked about many things, had torn down as many walls as possible between them, and come close on countless times to saying them, only to shy away at the last moment. It wasn’t that they weren’t ready, or perhaps it was because there was an unspoken agreement that saying ‘I love you’ would change things whether they intended it or not, and with everything going on in the world around them it felt like a risk. One that they weren’t quite ready to take, even though they knew that Kojuro was watching for it, and Sasuke had in his own blunt way asked when they were going to make it official while teasing his general.

So, when it came it was unexpected, mainly because it wasn’t earth-shattering or life-altering, or even dramatic in its statement.

It had been late one night. It had been an exhausting week, unrest seeing them fighting more often than not, and it had been a relief – not that either of then would have admitted it – when they had determined the unrest settled enough for to return to Oushu and rest properly before the next onslaught. Perhaps, it was the fighting and the worrying numbers of near-misses, or maybe it was the looming battles to come that saw Yukimura waking them both in the middle of the night by shouting out in the middle of a nightmare. Masamune had come awake in an instant, instinctively reaching for a weapon even before he’d registered the warm body pressed against his, and the restless almost frantic movements, and the soft, almost broken murmur of his name. “Masamune…”

Immediately abandoning his search for a weapon, he’d twisted to face Yukimura. “It’s time to wake up,” he murmured, cautiously reaching out to shake the other man by the shoulder. Neither of them was the best people to be roused unexpectedly, and he was unsurprised when Yukimura lashed out blindly as he jolted awake with a panicked shout on his lips, and it had taken him a long moment to realise where he was.

“Sorry...” He murmured, colouring as he realised that his hand was still raised as though to strike again and hastily dropping it back against the futon. Masamune ignored the unnecessary apology, and instead curled close again, slipping his arms around the younger man. Yukimura was tense in his arms, not ready to accept the tacit forgiveness, but slowly he melted into the embrace with a defeated sigh. “The problem with gaining something precious is that it can always be taken away…” It was the closest he would allow himself to come to admitting that it had been a nightmare about them, or more specifically about Masamune.

“I’m still here,” Masamune replied. He couldn’t and wouldn’t make promises that he was always going to be there, because they both knew that you weren’t always going to win battles and that death wasn’t something you could stop just by wishing for it. Still, there was a promise in those three words. An assurance that he was there, and that he wouldn’t be going anywhere if he could help it, and he knew that had helped a little when Yukimura sighed and shifted to rest his head against him.

“I know.”

Masamune wasn’t sure how long they’d lain there like that, not speaking, just breathing in the fact that the other was there, and that they were together. He was tired, but sleep eluded him because he couldn’t forget what Yukimura had said. It was a fear he knew all too well, but that he’d never managed to put into words. _I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose this._ However, as much as the mere thought of it disturbed him, sleep drew closer, and he could feel Yukimura relaxing more and more into him as he started to drift off too. “Goodnight…” Yukimura mumbled sleepily, startling him as he’d thought that his partner was already gone. “I…love you.” The words were barely audible, nearly lost as he pressed further into Masamune as his breathing eased out at last, and yet to Masamune they might as well have been a shout.

_I love you._

He should have seen them coming, after all, Yukimura’s words about what had caused his nightmare had all but been a declaration of love themselves, and yet he felt like he had the day he’d first encountered the other warrior. Blindsided, and awed…and pushed to answer him in kind, and he took an unsteady breath before twisting so that he could drop a kiss to the top of Yukimura’s head. “I know, I…” He faltered for a second, before growling at himself. “I love you too,” he told his sleeping partner, knowing that Yukimura wouldn’t hear him, but feeling a sudden, overwhelming urge to prove that the feeling wasn’t one-sided. Even as part of him wanted to see the brown eyes widen, and the soft smile that he knew would greet the words.

That wasn’t to be as Yukimura slept on peacefully beside him. Unfortunately, the words – and the enormity of what they meant had unsettled him, and he found himself unable to drop off again despite his exhaustion. Instead, he found himself gazing up at the ceiling as his fingers traced gentle patterns on Yukimura’s back as he held him close, listening to the comforting rhythm of his partner’s breathing. _The problem with gaining something precious is that it can always be taken away._ That was the problem, he thought. It wasn’t so much the words that bothered him, more the realisation of how far they had come, and how irrevocably they were tied to one another now, and what it would mean to lose that.

_If I lose this…_

****

Life had continued after that, and for a while, neither of them uttered the words, although they could be felt in the way they looked at one another when they thought no one was looking. Or the way, they would rush to one another at the end of a battle, eyes searching for serious injuries before meeting and lingering too long to be anything but love.

When Masamune inevitably used those three words, it was nothing like Yukimura’s quiet, murmured words in a moment of peace. Instead, they were loud and desperate, pleading with the world not to take away something so precious, and with Yukimura to keep fighting.

_“Yukimura! Come on Yuki…”_

_“Please, you can’t do this to me… “_

_“I love you.”_


	2. Chapter 2

It had become a relatively frequent occurrence for them to move between Oushu and Kai, as neither of them could abandon their duties to their people, and neither of them had been willing to settle for the otherwise infrequent meetings that came from warring. So, in hindsight, it was had been inevitable that someone would take notice of those movements and try to take advantage of the fact that they were exposed and travelling with fewer men then they would have been if they’d been riding for war. However, at the moment, as the opportunistic Yoshimoto sprang his trap, using his forces to surround them, cutting them off from Oushu which was closer, or from retreating to Kai, it came as a surprise.

There had been a moment when the forces had first slammed into them that it seemed as though their defences would crumble. Then Yukimura had been there right at the front, blazing a brilliant crimson as he drew all eyes to him, buying them time to rally as he launched himself into their attackers. Masamune waited only long enough to bellow a command, briefly missing the steadying presence of his right-eye, before following his partner into the fray, the two of them dyeing the sky above them magenta as a roar went through the men as they rallied behind them.

Despite being vastly outnumbered, their combined forces were not only managing to hold their ground as they recovered their equilibrium and counterattacked. It was bloody and chaotic, their attackers had put too much emphasis on the element of surprise, faltering as they found themselves facing a rigorous defence. However, it was clear that Yoshimoto wasn’t willing to let this opportunity slip through his fingers, and they steadied their line, pushing back against the Date-Sanada forces.

Masamune was enjoying the fight, despite his fury at the unexpected attack. It had been a while since he’d had the chance to really lose himself in battle, and as he stepped to the side, letting Yukimura step into the space, and hearing a cry as his partner cut down another soldier he grinned. Nothing could match the thrill of fighting Yukimura, but it was almost as much fun to fight alongside the other man as it was to go against him, and with the numbers, they were facing they were both getting the opportunity to go all out. Fire rippled through the grass as Yukimura launched into the air and crashed down into a group of the enemy, a fierce shout on his lips as he whirled, spears deadly dervishes as he tore through them. And Masamune followed, springing up and drawing all six swords, not because they were needed but fired up by Yukimura’s display and lightning rippled around him, as tighter they painted the world red, blue and purple, their men surging to match them.

The fight was shifting in their favour, Yoshimoto’s forces lacking the motivation that Yukimura and Masamune provided for their own men, and with the element of surprise well and truly gone, they were being pushed back, their line breaking. Some of the men were breaking away now, bolting away into the countryside, and sensing blood in the air, the Date-Sanada forces pressed their advantage and gave chase.

Later, Masamune would wonder if it was the same bloodlust that had blinded him, or whether he had become too reliant on Kojuro reading the broader situation for him. Either way, he knew a moment of pure, unadulterated dread as Yukimura’s voice rose clearly above the din of the battle. “MASAMUNE!” It wasn’t so much the volume, or the lack of honorific that Yukimura still tended to use around others that caught his attention, as the emotion in that single word.

Panic.

Terror.

Masamune was turning, blades tearing through a hapless soldier who’d lunged in, hoping to take advantage of the situation. The gurgling cry doing nothing to match the terrifyingly familiar retort of an arquebus being fired, and Yukimura’s voice which had been so desperate, so fierce seconds before rising in a pained cry

_No._

There was a snarl on his lips, teeth bared as he found himself confronted with the sight of Yukimura standing between him and the gunman. The former looking as though he had been caught mid-motion, and the latter clinging to a smoking gun, looking as though he couldn’t believe what had happened. The smoke told its own story, and Masamune was already moving even before Yukimura seemed to waver, motion catching up with him, as he tilted to the side and then began to sink towards the ground, one hand stubbornly holding onto a spear, while the other had moved to press against his side. There was a flash of red against his fingers – the wrong kind of red – and he was roaring his fury even before he heard Yukimura let out a low, gasping moan.

The Dragon howled, and the world turned blue as he was descended upon the gunman, dispatching him before he could even think about reloading let alone firing again. It was a quicker death than he’d deserved, but Masamune was already moving to shield his partner, as it was their enemies’ time to sense blood in the water. Most took one look at him and ignored the pull, others didn’t and he was lethal as he cut a swathe through any foolish enough to step within range, one ear on Yukimura, listening for each soft noise of pain that his partner was trying to swallow down. Each ragged breath, that seemed deafening to him.

Then their men were there, filling the space between Yukimura and the enemy, forming a barrier of flesh and fury, driving them back and leaving Masamune free to do what he had wanted to do from the start, rushing across to his fallen partner. “Yukimura!” It didn’t match Yukimura’s shout for volume, but the feeling behind it was the same as he fell to his knees beside him, dropping his weapons in favour of reaching for Yukimura, relieved when his touch made Yukimura lookup. It was short-lived relief though because the brown eyes told him clearly just how much pain the other man was in, at that moment, and for a moment he was caught between the past and the present. He knew that pain. There were nights when he would still jolt awake from the memory of it, and it wasn’t something he would wish on anyone, let alone Yukimura.

“M-M…”

“Let me see,” Masamune ordered, Yukimura’s broken attempt to speak dragging him back to the present more effectively than anything else could’ve. He kept one hand resting on his partner’s shoulder, trying to stop him from keeling over, while he reached out with his other one and tugged at both bloody hands that Yukimura now had pressed against the wound. Yukimura fought him briefly, trying to spare him, but he lacked the strength to fight Masamune at the moment and after a moment his hands fell away, giving Masamune a clear view of the still bleeding wound. Panic gripped him for a moment, a dozen curses on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them back as Yukimura made a noise that could only be described as a whimper, before listing to the side.

Masamune did curse then, even as he carefully, gently eased Yukimura down on the grass, not wanting to risk him, causing more damage by toppling over unguided. Panic might have frozen him then, but Yukimura was blinking up at him, fighting to stay awake, and there was such trust in his partner’s eyes that it cut through his fear. It was still there, gnawing away at him, and filling his stomach with a sinking dread, but it gave him focus. “We need to stop the bleeding,” he said, looking around and then down at his own jacket, swallowing as he realised that it was already damp with Yukimura’s blood. Gritting his teeth, he picked up his closest sword and set to work hacking and slashing at the jacket until he had material to be going on with. “This is going to hurt,” he warned, not sure if Yukimura had heard him or understood what he was saying as there was no response, and then he was pressing down on the wound, grimacing as Yukimura tensed and groaned, reaching up to bat at him weakly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered with an apologetic grimace, ignoring the fluttering attempts to shift him, even as his mind raced with what to do next.

“Taishou.”

“Number one.”

The battle was still going, but it was petering out, and their forces had split, gathering hesitantly around their generals and Masamune could see the fear in the faces of Yukimura’s men. And his own for that matter, he realised belatedly as he glanced at them, and then back down at Yukimura, forcing himself to focus on what needed to be done. It was hard. The material was already soaked through, blood damp against his fingers, and Yukimura was pale, struggling to focus as he looked down at him. _I can’t lose him, not like this…_ Masamune thought fiercely, gripping that determination and turning it into purpose as he looked up again.

“Find my horse, and send someone ahead to alert Kojuro and tell him to have everything prepared,” he ordered, relieved that his panic hadn’t bled through into his voice, even though he could feel it surging with each shaky breath Yukimura took. Made worse by the realisation that there was only so much he could do out here, and he swallowed before turning his attention to the nearest Takeda men. “Will one of you ride back and inform Sarutobi of what’s happened? Tell him that I’ve taken Sanada to Oushu as it’s closest and that…we will take care of him there.” He hadn’t quite been able to stop his voice from faltering, and he was relieved when no one questioned him, even Yukimura’s men moving to obey without a word of protest even though he wasn’t their commander.

“M-Masamune…” This time the lack of honorific felt more potent, and his attention snapped back to Yukimura, his scowl deepening as he realised that the other man was deteriorating in front of his eyes. What little colour he’d had remaining, quickly draining away, while his eyes had taken on an unfocused, distant look as he started to drift. However, what alarmed him the most was the sight of the small trickle of blood now trailing down Yukimura’s chin.

“Yukimura,” he called urgently, no longer trying to hide his panic as he jostled his partner. “Hey,” he said more loudly as Yukimura blinked, clearly trying to focus on him but struggling. “You need to stay awake for me, do you hear me?” He tried to sound as stern as possible, knowing that it was the best way to get the other man to listen to him, nudging him again, before lifting his head to see what was keeping his men and his horse. They needed to move now before it was too late. Stubbornly ignoring the small voice in the back of his mind that whispered that it might already be too late, especially as he glanced back and found that despite his words, Yukimura’s eyes had slid shut.

_No._

It was instinct more than anything that propelled him into motion at that moment, and without any regard to where they were or the sound of battle still lingering in the distance, he leant forward and pressed his lips to Yukimura’s. It was rough and desperate and fiercely demanding.

_Come back to me, Yukimura._

It felt like a lifetime, although it could only have been seconds before he felt the softest of pressure in return, and pulling back, he found Yukimura blinking up at him. Shocked, still barely clinging on, but still awake and that was all that mattered. “I told you that you need to stay awake,” he scolded without heat as he saw the shock wasn’t fading, and that seemed to register as Yukimura nodded, eyes blinking slow and heavy before he reached out to lay a hesitant hand over the one pressing down on his wound. For the moment at least, there with him and fighting to hold on, and Masamune tried to focus on that rather than the shivering that had overtaken Yukimura.  
  
The sound of clattering hooves had him looking up, braced for an attack, before heaving a sigh of relief at the sight of his men leading his horse up to them. He nodded to them, before looking back down at Yukimura, knowing that this was going to be the worst part and wishing that he could spare his partner the pain to come. “We can’t stay here, which means that I need to move you. Is that all right?” It wasn’t really a question, because they had no choice. Yukimura would die if they remained where they were. _He could still die even if we get him to safety,_ the quiet traitorous part of his mind whispered, and he gritted his teeth. They didn’t have a choice, but he waiting, a little longer than he liked until Yukimura gave a tiny, jerky nod to show that he had at least understood what was happening.

With care and a gentleness that he would never show anyone else, he eased Yukimura up off the ground, grateful for the difference in their statues as he gathered his partner in his arms. Even then it wasn’t easy, and despite his best attempts to keep from jostling the wound, the short walk to the horse that his men held in place was punctuated by shaky, wordless noises. He murmured what reassurances he could muster, feeling that they fell flat as he felt Yukimura’s fingers curling against him during a particularly loud gasp, that rose to a cry as he lifted Yukimura up into the saddle. One of the men shifting so that he could hold Yukimura in place, allowing Masamune to release him so that he could swing himself up into the saddle behind him. As soon as he was settled, he wrapped a firm arm around Yukimura as his partner listed to the side again, intensely aware of the blood soaking through.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, feeling Yukimura jolt a little in panic as he realised he was listing to the side. Yukimura nodded, leaning back into him, head bobbing towards his chest. “Let Yoshimoto’s forces go for now,” he ordered as he looked at his men, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. He wanted to order them after them and make them pay for this but now wasn’t the time. “Finish up here, take care of any stragglers and then follow us to Oushu.” He didn’t like leaving them behind, even though they were more than capable of dealing with the last of this mess themselves, but there was no other choice as more and more of Yukimura’s weight came to rest against him, and he’d barely waited for a general murmur of agreement before spurring his horse forward.

***

Masamune had always spent most of his time with Yukimura attuned to what the other man was doing, whether as an enemy, an allay or a lover. To the point where sometimes he felt as though he had been dragged into the others orbit. Today that feeling, and that awareness was heightened tenfold, and he had never been so grateful for his ability to ride without the reins as he was now. It didn’t make the ride any easier, their closeness and the arm wrapped protectively around Yukimura, meaning that there was no way for him to miss every flinch and whimper, each ragged breath that seemed to stutter in his partner’s chest.

_I’m losing him…_

The certainty in that thought terrified him, and he dug his heels in, silently apologising to his mount as he drove it to higher speeds. It didn’t change the truth in that thought. Yukimura was fading faster now, his chin as bloody as his side now, head bowed, and yet he was still awake. Still holding on as Masamune had asked because he was clutching at the arm holding him in place, and even though even that was weakening, Masamune was sure that he was going to have bruises come morning. He didn’t care. He would have taken any injury as long as it meant that Yukimura was still hanging on, still fighting to stay with him.

_Please, keep fighting…_

*

Yukimura fought hard. He didn’t speak once during the ride, but he stayed conscious, albeit teetering dangerously on the edge, and Masamune was just starting to let himself hope, especially as they approached Oushu, the compound visible in the distance. _Nearly there._ He knew that it didn’t mean that Yukimura was going to make it, remembering how close it had been for him when he’d taken similar injuries and remembering the haunted look on Kojuro’s face, but it meant that they had a chance. “We’re nearly…” He started to say, wanting to give Yukimura something more than his orders to hang on to, but he’d barely got the first two words out before Yukimura tensed in his arms, a ragged cough rattling through his body.

It didn’t stop at one, and Masamune was forced to bring the horse to a halt as Yukimura coughed and coughed, breath wheezing in between, and making the horse snort and prance uneasily. Leaving Masamune cursing, as he tried to support Yukimura as best he could, desperately eyeing their destination which was so close and yet much too far at that moment. “Easy Yukimura,” he soothed, voice cracking as blood dripped onto his hands after a particularly violent cough, and gripped with a sinking dread, he let his hand slide lower, brushing against the makeshift bandage and cursing as his fingers came away coated with fresh blood.

He couldn’t deal with this in the saddle, and trying not to feel as though everything was slipping through his fingers, he dismounted, struggling to hold onto Yukimura at the same time. “M-Ma…” Yukimura stirred slightly, speaking for the first time in ages as he was eased out of the saddle and down onto the ground, held against Masamune’s chest. “I…” He tried to speak again, wheezing, the coughs growing weaker and wetter now, and he trailed off, shaking his head as his strength failed him and he slumped against his partner.

“I’ve got you. I’ve…” Masamune faltered, as he realised that Yukimura’s eyes had slipped shut as his breathing became more laboured. “Yukimura?” He demanded, unable to stop the panic bleeding into his voice now as he jostled his partner, it didn’t rouse him beyond a slight furrowing of his forehead, and he felt his nerves beginning to fray completely. “Yukimura!” He raised his voice now, making it a command, demanding a response and yet there was nothing. “Come on Yuki…” He pulled Yukimura closer, hearing the rattling breath and realising that the shivering was easing now, and finding only terror at that realisation. “Please, you can’t do this to me.” He was begging now, desperation colouring his words, and he felt Yukimura’s shift ever so slightly, curling against his chest. Listening, even at the end of his strength, and Masamune took a deep breath before adding softly, as though afraid that saying it aloud would give the world more reason to steal Yukimura away but unable to stop the words from bubbling up, in one last desperate attempt to keep his partner fighting.

_“I love you.”_


	3. Chapter 3

Kojuro was waiting when Masamune rode into the courtyard. The message that had arrived ahead had sent the entire compound into a frenzy of activity, and Kojuro had never been more grateful for their people’s loyalty to Masamune. There was no hesitation or questions as they had readied not just for Yukimura’s arrival and injuries, but to host the Takeda troops as well as their own.

“Kojuro!” There was fear – no terror – in the wild gaze that sought him out, and Kojuro’s breath caught. He had seen Masamune through many dire situations and countless emotional outbursts, but nothing like this, and as his eyes turned to the bloodied Yukimura he tensed. It brought back too many unpleasant memories of when it had been his own General in that position, but it was more than that because he knew without a doubt at that moment that if they lost Yukimura, then they would lose Masamune as they knew him. There would be no coming back from this. Biting back his own terror at that thought, knowing that one of them needed to remain composed at least for the moment he stepped forward, gesturing for the healer and his assistants to step forward. Masamune hesitated for a moment, before letting them take Yukimura from him, watching intently as they lowered him from the horse and then hurried him away inside.

_Was I too late?_ The question was written across Masamune’s face as he dismounted in turn, a retainer moving to take the reins before Kojuro could, and the older man gratefully fell into step alongside Masamune who was already following Yukimura.

“What happened?” He asked. The messenger had been breathless and hadn’t wasted any time on the details beyond the fact that Yukimura had been injured and that they needed to prepare for his arrival. He would have preferred to stop and get all the details first, but he realised that keeping Masamune away from Yukimura at this point was a recipe for disaster, and even his question was greeted with a low snarl. For a moment, he thought that Masamune wasn’t even going to answer him.

“We were ambushed,” Masamune’s voice was a low growl, and the air around him crackled as his temper threatened to boil over and Kojuro had to stop himself from taking an instinctive step away. “Yoshimoto caught us off guard, cutting us off. We were holding our own though despite being at a disadvantage, and it was a good fight…” Guilt bled into the anger then, Masamune careful to look anywhere but at him. Kojuro hummed quietly under his breath, trying to encourage him to continue, knowing that Masamune was thinking about the numerous lectures he’d given over the years about being reckless or getting lost in the flow of the battle. It was a problem, but Kojuro knew without a doubt that with Yukimura at his side, that urge had been stronger than ever and that it should have been enough. On their own they were strong, together they were devastating.

_So, what went wrong this time?_

“Yukimura…” Masamune continued, and Kojuro wasn’t sure whether he had slipped and asked the question aloud or if he’d continued of his own accord. “I was distracted, and I hadn’t noticed the gunman coming up behind me.” Kojuro frowned, knowing that was his usual position. _I should have been there,_ he thought before catching himself as it would do no good for both of them to be questioning their choices. “Yukimura did, and he threw himself into his path, taking the bullet for me.” The crackling was subsiding now, ebbing away, as the guilt overcame the anger and for once Kojuro had no words of comfort for Masamune. In part, because he knew that nothing he could say would have the same meaning or impact as hearing Yukimura say it, remembering how the men had tried to talk to him after Masamune had gone down to the Arquebus forces. Still, it had only been Masamune’s words that he’d heard.

That didn’t mean that he didn’t wish he had the words, as they reached the room where Yukimura had been rushed away too. The same place where Masamune had come so close to slipping away from them in. The memories were in full force as they paused in the doorway, Kojuro biting back a curse as he got his first proper look at Yukimura’s wound, automatically reaching out to stop Masamune from bursting inside. He needn’t have worried because Masamune had frozen at the sight, barely seeming to breathe for a moment.

“Yukimura…” It was the whisper of a child who realised that the entire world was about to change, the voice of man realising he could lose everything, and it made Kojuro’s heart ache to hear. _I can’t protect you from this,_ he thought, watching as Masamune staggered backwards as he watched the frantic efforts to stem the bleeding – there was far too much blood, too much red – and seal the wound. Hitting the opposite wall, he seemed to rally for a moment, before the strength drained out of him and he sank down against it. Kojuro glanced back at Yukimura, trying to suppress the small voice that said that it was too little, too late, before looking back at Masamune, frown deepening as he realised that Masamune was almost as bloody as Yukimura. His partner’s blood having soaked into the front of the blue jacket and covering the trembling hands that were now pressed together in his lap.

That at least was something that he could help with, and knowing that it would be impossible to move Masamune from his current spot and that there was no comfort he could offer right now. Kojuro went off in search of fresh clothes and some water, hoping that at least being rid of Yukimura’s blood would help.

**

It had taken a lot of cajoling, but Kojuro had managed to get Masamune to step away just long enough to wash Yukimura’s blood off his hands, seeing how he had shuddered at the sight of the water turning red, and change into fresh clothes. It wasn’t much, and Masamune had promptly resumed his guard over the room where Yukimura was, but to Kojuro, it seemed as though there was a slight reduction in the trembling as they waited. In the distance, they heard the clatter of the men arriving, but no one came to disturb them, and although Kojuro knew he would need to go and oversee their arrival, and settlement soon, he made no move to leave Masamune’s side.

It seemed to take forever.

Kojuro knew better, and yet as the minutes ticked by, he was reminded more and more of that fateful night, and he couldn’t imagine how it must feel to Masamune. _Yukimura, I…_ Part of him wanted to thank Sanada from protecting Masamune, even though he knew it wasn’t something Yukimura would accept gratitude for and that Masamune would probably hate him for thinking. Another wanted to know what the other General had been thinking, and not just because of the effect that it was having on Masamune, but for Sarutobi and Kai. It was a moot point really, what was done was done, but the waiting gave the questions time to bubble up without a pause, and it was almost a relief when he noticed that the frantic activity in the room was slowing down before they were approached.

Masamune was immediately upright and tense, bracing himself for the worst, and Kojuro found himself mirroring him as he took in the doctor’s stern visage and the slight hesitation before they bowed to Masamune. “Masamune-sama, you are welcome to sit with him now.” Masamune twitched, as though fighting the urge to rush to do just that, and Kojuro was impressed when he held himself in place, managing to stop his uncertainty from bleeding into his voice as he asked.

“How is he? Will he survive?”

“This is the critical period,” the man seemed to be weighing his words, and Kojuro couldn’t blame him as the air tensed and crackled, a storm building in their midst. “If he can survive the night, then I will be in a better place to say for sure. He has lost a lot of blood, and in all honesty, we are not sure if or when he will wake. Even if he pulls through this, it will take time for him to recover and he will not be able to move around much for a while.” The pressure in the air was almost overwhelming at that point, and Kojuro gestured for the healer to leave them. With a last bow, he obeyed, leaving them facing the doorway to the room, Masamune’s gaze fixated on some distant point as he tried to absorb what he’d been told.

_If…_

_When…_

Kojuro had been expecting it, and yet it was still a blow to hear the words, and it was clear that Masamune had been desperately hoping for something more. He waited a few minutes, before realising that it would take longer than that for his Lord to get his head around this news, and carefully, he urged Masamune into the room. The quiet obedience worrying him just as much as everything else, and he waited just long enough to make sure that Masamune was moving towards Yukimura before retreating, hoping that privacy and seeing Yukimura with his own eyes would help. He also knew that he had neglected his duties long enough, and all he could do to help Masamune right now was keep Oushu running as smoothly as possible. That, and he knew that it wouldn’t be long before Sarutobi arrived as the news should have reached him by now, and he wanted to deal with the Shinobi himself, hoping that nothing else would happen before he came.

*

Masamune was moving on automatic more than anything as he moved further into the room, sliding the door shut behind him to give them some privacy, before faltering. Yukimura was rarely quiet, and even when he was the room was warm and lively, but not today, the room was silent, and there was a chill to the air that had him shivering from something more than cold.

_Yukimura._

Slowly he made his way to where his partner lay, each step feeling heavier than the last, pressure building in his chest as he saw up close the unnatural paleness of Yukimura’s face. _Too still…why is he so still?_

_“M-M…”_

_“Let me see,” Masamune ordered, Yukimura’s broken attempt to speak, dragging him back to the present more effectively than anything else could’ve. He kept one hand resting on his partner’s shoulder, trying to stop him from keeling over, while he reached out with his other one and tugged at both bloody hands that Yukimura now had pressed against the wound. Yukimura fought him briefly, trying to spare him, but he lacked the strength to fight Masamune at the moment, and after a moment his hands fell away, giving Masamune a clear view of the still bleeding wound. Panic gripped him for a moment, a dozen curses on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them back as Yukimura made a noise that could only be described as a whimper, before listing to the side._

_Masamune did curse then, even as he carefully, gently eased Yukimura down on the grass, not wanting to risk him, causing more damage by toppling over unguided. Panic might have frozen him then, but Yukimura was blinking up at him, fighting to stay awake, and there was such trust in his partner’s eyes that it cut through his fear. It was still there, gnawing away at him, and filling his stomach with a sinking dread, but it gave him focus. “We need to stop the bleeding,” he said, looking around and then down at his own jacket, swallowing as he realised that it was already damp with Yukimura’s blood. Gritting his teeth, he picked up his closest sword and set to work hacking and slashing at the jacket until he had material to be going on with. “This is going to hurt,” he warned, not sure if Yukimura had heard him or understood what he was saying as there was no response, and then he was pressing down on the wound, grimacing as Yukimura tensed and groaned, reaching up to bat at him weakly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered with an apologetic grimace, ignoring the fluttering attempts to shift him, even as his mind raced with what to do next._

The memory jolted him forward, closing the last of the distance with rushed, unsteady steps. It had been worse, yet easier in those moments because Yukimura had been awake and reacting, not this terrifying, unnatural stillness that seemed to stretch out around them. The world holding its breath along with him.

“Yukimura,” he whispered, not recognising his own voice. _I could have lost him. I could still lose him._ The thoughts were a mantra that followed the rhythm of his pounding heart as he stared at Yukimura, willing him to react, to move, to open his eyes. Anything to show that he was still with him. _Please, Yukimura. I…_ The words that had come so desperately before, now choked as he dropped down beside his partner. Eyes darting down to the swathe of bandages hiding the damage from sight, before pulling his gaze up and focusing on the slow rise and fall of Yukimura’s chest.

_He’s still alive._

It wasn’t as comforting as he wanted it to be, and he was trembling again as he slowly reached out, cautious as he grasped Yukimura’s hand. As though worried that the slightest touch might shatter him. “Yukimura, you’ve got to survive this,” he whispered, trying not to flinch as he realised how cool Yukimura’s hand was, so at odds with the burning heat that he had come to associate with the young Tiger.

_You’ve got to wake up…_

_….so, I can say it to you properly._

****

It was well into the early hours of the morning by the time Kojuro managed to make his way back to the room, having been informed that Masamune had refused to eat the meals that had been sent to him, and that he hadn’t moved from Yukimura’s side, apart from when the bandages were being changed. He wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t ease his concern when he slipped into the room, eyes immediately drawn to the still figure of Yukimura, taking a moment to reconcile the sight in front of him with the Sanada that he knew. It was disconcerting, and he took a deep breath before turning his attention to his own Lord. “Masamune, you need to rest.” He inserted as much authority as he could into his voice, knowing that there would be little that could reach the other man while he was like this, and Masamune didn’t even flinch or turn to acknowledge his presence.

“I’m not leaving him.” The words were blunt and to the point, but it did little to mask the worry and exhaustion beneath them, and Kojuro pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t expected any other answer, but that didn’t mean he’d wanted to be proved right.

“Very well,” Kojuro murmured, realising that this was not a fight that he was going to be able to win. “However, you really must eat something. I will go fetch something for you.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You won’t do Yukimura any good if you fall ill too, and he is going to need you when he pulls through this,” Kojuro admonished, burying his own doubts as deep as he could. _If not when_ he thought. He was glad that he had kept it buried, because Masamune finally turned to look at him, looking older and more haunted than Kojuro had ever seen him before, and after a moment he nodded. Not about to give him time to change his mind, Kojuro bowed deeply, before retreating to find food, ready to force-feed the other man if it became absolutely necessary.

*

Masamune sighed, shoulders slumping as the door slide shut behind his Right Eye. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’d known that it was fruitless to hope that they would be left in peace, and he knew that the older man would keep his word and return with food, and no doubt stand over him to make sure that he actually ate it. He tried not to resent him for it, as he knew that he needed to eat, that he had to be there when Yukimura recovered if only to make sure that his partner rested properly, but that didn’t change the fact that his appetite had disappeared entirely. The thought of food and continuing as though everything was normal and nothing had changed, left him feeling sick to his stomach.

_I could have lost him._

He looked down at his hands, noticing that while the shaking had settled over the hours sat at Yukimura’s side, they were beginning to tremble again. _I could have lost him,_ his fingers curled, the feeling of Yukimura’s blood coating them lingering even now, and he clenched them tightly. It had been too close, far too close. If he had been a little slower getting Yukimura here, if the healers hadn’t been available or as experienced as they were, and even then, it had been close. They’d still had to fight to keep him alive, were still struggling to keep him alive, and all Masamune could do was wait and watch, and rely on others to save that which he held dear.

“You idiot,” he whispered, gaze returning to Yukimura’s face. Noting again just how young his partner looked at the moment, with his headband missing and with his hair loosened from its customary braid. He seemed too young to be so close to death, and yet Masamune knew better. War stripped away all such safeguards. It didn’t make it any easier, though. Tentatively he reached out and retook Yukimura’s hand, relieved to find that it was warmer than it had been when he’d first come to watch over him. However, the fingers were limp in his, lacking the fierce strength that usually flooded Yukimura, fuelled by years of wielding his dual spears. “Why?” His grip tightened. “Why did you go so far?” He asked, knowing that there would be no answers for now, but needing to ask, still struggling to understand.

****

It was midmorning the next day that Sasuke arrived to see Yukimura. Masamune had eaten and managed to doze a little while Kojuro watched over his partner. He had forced himself to step back, leaning against the far wall as the Shinobi moved forward to kneel beside his unconscious General. Yukimura had made it through the night, but the feeling of the world holding its breath hadn’t faded, even as the healers had dared to be a little more hopeful. Maybe, it was the sight of Sasuke. Usually, so unflappable looking pale and shaken, expression shadowed as he reached out and brushed gentle fingers over Yukimura’s forehead.

“Danna…?” Sasuke sounded almost lost as he tried to elicit a response from Yukimura. And Masamune felt the rising bubble of guilt that had only grown through the long hours of waiting swell even more as Sasuke bowed his head before rising despondently to his feet.

“I’m sorry…”

It had been whispered, but Sarutobi caught it anyway and turned to look at him. For a moment they just stared at one another, and Masamune shifted uneasily, realising that he had never truly been alone with the Shinobi without Yukimura to soften the encounter, and he braced himself. Waiting for the blame, the accusations that he felt that he deserved, holding his breath as Sasuke’s eyes narrowed as he studied him. Eventually, the quiet was broken by the Shinobi sighing and shaking his head, before turning back to look at Yukimura.

“It was his choice,” Sasuke murmured, sounding strangely calm despite the emotions in his eyes – the fear and concern. “He wouldn’t regret it, and he won’t blame you for what happened. So, how could I?” It sounded so simple when he put it like that, and when Sasuke turned to look at him, Masamune could see that he meant every word of what he was saying. He also realised that for all that, Yukimura was in for one hell of a lecture once he was on the mend, and not just from Masamune and he almost pitied his partner. Almost, as he nodded his understanding, earning a strained smile as the Shinobi slipped away with a quiet promise to return later, showing more clearly than words ever could that he trusted Masamune to watch over Yukimura.

****

It was almost a full day later when Yukimura finally showed signs of stirring, a low groan drawing Masamune out of his drifting thoughts, instantly closing the distance between them. “Yukimura?” He couldn’t keep the hope out of his voice, the desperation. Each minute had felt like an hour for the last couple of days, and even as the healers had become more optimistic, he had found it hard to let himself hope. _I could have lost him,_ the fear from that realisation had burrowed deep.

Yukimura had twitched at his voice, brow furrowing as with increased awareness came a registering of the pain that he had to be in. Realising this and remembering how it had felt when he’d woken from similar injuries, Masamune shifted his grip on Yukimura’s hand, squeezing as tightly as he dared, trying to give Yukimura something to anchor him. “Yukimura?” He called again, softly encouraging. “Yuki?” He tried again, trying not to panic as the other’s face seemed to smooth out again, unconsciousness tugging at him again. _Not yet._ He thought and immediately felt selfish for it. However, after a couple of minutes later, he was rewarded for his efforts as Yukimura groaned and shifted before his eyes cracked open slightly.

The relief was overwhelming, and it took Masamune a moment to summon a smile as Yukimura blinked slowly, struggling to keep his eyes open, let alone open them fully or focus on anything. The brown that was usually so vibrant and alert, now foggy and unfocused with pain and exhaustion. At first, he thought that Yukimura was blind to his presence until a faint touch had his gaze darting to their linked hands just in time to see Yukimura’s fingers curling around his. It was a weak grip, but it was something, and when he looked up again it was to find that Yukimura was looking at him, confused and struggling, but seeing him and his smile grew even before a raspy voice broke the quiet.

“M-Masamune…”

The breaking voice brought back the memory of what had happened, and Masamune forced himself not to freeze, instead focusing on how hoarse Yukimura had sounded, fumbling as he reached out with his free hand for the water that Kojuro had provided in the hope of this moment coming. “Here,” he murmured, seeing Yukimura’s eyes slowly tracking the movement, releasing his hand so that he could ease him up enough that Yukimura could sip the water without choking. “Slowly,” he cautioned when it seemed like Yukimura was about to try and gulp it down. Still, whether it was his warning or exhaustion, his partner sipped it, only managing a couple of mouthfuls before tilting his head away with a slight shake of his head.

Realising just how heavily Yukimura was leaning into the arm he had supporting him, Masamune eased him down again, trying to get him settled into a more comfortable position. _I could have lost him,_ the fear hadn’t faded even with Yukimura waking, and he had started to fuss with the covers, trying to distract himself by keeping his hands busy when Yukimura reached for him, fingers curling loosely around his. “What happened?” Yukimura asked, sounding a little more alert than he had before.

“You don’t remember?” Masamune demanded, his tone alarming Yukimura who tensed and then flinched, the movement jostling his wound.

“We were attacked…” Yukimura said slowly, the pain seeming to rouse something in his mind as he tilted his head to look towards the source of the pain before his eyes widened in remembered alarm, and he looked at Masamune. “He was going to shoot you from behind.”

“I’m not hurt, you stopped him in time,” Masamune reassured him, not sure what to make of the fear that lingered even with his reassurances. _Why?_ He thought yet again, but now wasn’t the time to ask questions or ream out his partner for being so reckless, as it was clear that Yukimura was staying awake more through sheer stubbornness than anything else as he blinked at him. “You’ve been unconscious for days, and…” He trailed off, unable to put the fear and doubts into words, and not really wanting to put that weight on Yukimura’s shoulders. At least some of it must have bled through in his voice or expression though, because the fingers wrapped around his tightened briefly, and Masamune’s expression softened as he brought his other hand to rest on top of their joined ones. “You’re back now, that’s all that matters.”

_Thank you for coming back…_

Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes, just holding one another’s hands, each reassuring themselves that the other was still there. However, it was becoming increasingly clear to Masamune that his partner was struggling, what little reserves of strength he’d had fading fast, as he blinked heavier and slower with each moment that passed. As much as he didn’t want to see Yukimura sleep again just yet, he knew that he needed to rest, the show of stubbornness giving him the courage to lean forward with a slightly strained smile. “You need to rest.” He saw the protest forming, even as Yukimura blinked and fought back a yawn. “I’ll still be here when you wake up,” he promised, reaching up to run his fingers through Yukimura’s hair. Yukimura leaned into the gentle touch, eyes already drifting shut, and Masamune kept up his ministrations, trying to ease him off to sleep.

He was just starting to think he’d succeeded when Yukimura shifted a little, cracking open one eye to peer at him, and Masamune wasn’t sure what to make of the expression on his face. “Yukimura?”

“You told me that you loved me,” Yukimura whispered, eyes slipping shut even as he spoke, and the stunned silence that followed was broken by the sound of his breathing evening out. Masamune was frozen in place, staring wide-eyed at his partner. _Trust you to remember that part,_ he thought, trying to be grumpy about it, but unable to stop himself from smiling as he brushed his fingers against Yukimura’s cheek. He still wanted to be able to repeat it when Yukimura was fully awake and aware to hear it, but it was almost a relief to know that his partner already knew how he felt.

That relief, along with the overwhelming hope that Yukimura was on the mend now after waking up and remembering what had happened albeit with a little prompting, combined with the lack of sleep over the last few days was quick to catch up with him. More exhausted than he could ever remember being, even after the longest battles of his life, however unwilling to leave Yukimura’s side even now, and with others who sit wit him, Masamune settled himself beside his partner. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but he could still hold Yukimura’s hand, clinging to it like a lifeline as he finally allowed his eyes to drift shut without the terror that his partner might vanish if he did so.

**

That was how Kojuro and Sasuke found them a couple of hours later, coming to check on Yukimura and in the former's case to try and persuade the Date Lord to eat something and have a proper rest rather than the naps that he had been snatching so far. At some point, Yukimura had shifted across until he was partially curled around Masamune’s upper body, the hand not currently caught in Masamune’s grip, now resting instead in his partner’s hair as though he had reached for him. That, and the fact that Masamune had allowed himself to rest – the position betraying that it had been a deliberate decision, telling them what had happened.

“Danna must have woken up at least briefly,” Sasuke murmured, relief evident in his expression as he stepped forward, careful not to disturb the sleeping pair as he leant into study Yukimura. Noting the improved colour in his General’s face, although the lines of pain remained and would likely linger for a while yet. He checked that their current position wasn’t putting strain on the wound, before resisting the urge to try and move Yukimura back into a more comfortable position, knowing that would immediately rouse at least Masamune if not both of them. Beside him, Kojuro looked as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he studied Masamune, seeing that some of the strain had eased from Masamune’s expression.

“Thankfully,” he murmured, and they shared a look. If it hadn’t been obvious before, the last few days had made it abundantly clear that the fates of the two were closely bound together now. Masamune had barely existed while waiting to see if Yukimura would pull through. Although they had avoided discussing it as much as possible, they had both agreed that it was unlikely that Masamune would have come back to himself if Yukimura had died. They had spent more than one sleepless night imaging the rampage that would likely follow.

“Now the main problem will be getting Danna to rest properly,” Sasuke muttered. Deliberately steering the conversation onto safer ground as he saw Kojuro’s lingering tension, knowing that he had found it hard to be so helpless in a situation that had roused far too many memories. Not, that the worry was unfounded as he knew all too well how hard it was to get Yukimura to rest when injured, it had always been that way, and Shingen in his own way had only exacerbated it by being very much of the same mentality.

Kojuro chuckled a little at that, having had much the same problem with Masamune. “Somehow I doubt that will be a problem this time. Masamune will not allow him to do anything to set back his recovery after all this.” There was no uncertainty whatsoever in his words, and the Shinobi couldn’t help but smirk at his words, imagining how chagrined Yukimura was going to be when he found out that it wasn’t just them, but his partner who was working against him.

“They will probably be asleep for a while yet,” Sasuke said. “You should use the opportunity to rest too, as I know that you’ve barely slept this week either,” he added, turning to look at Kojuro, arching an eyebrow when the older man opened his mouth to protest. Kojuro scowled at him but swallowed the protest and nodded before narrowing his eyes at Sasuke in turn.

“Fine, but you need to get some rest at some point.” The Shinobi grimaced but nodded, realising that it wasn’t only Yukimura who wasn’t going to be able to get away with pushing himself too far under this current arrangement, but unable to argue as Kojuro quietly but firmly guided him out of the room.

_It’s a small price to pay, considering what could have been lost…_

****

When Yukimura drifted awake again a few hours later, he found himself more alert than he had been earlier, which unfortunately meant that he was immediately more aware of the pain emanating from his side. _I was shot,_ he reminded himself, reaching out and cautiously feeling the bandages covering the injury. Even that was enough to send a stronger twinge of pain through his body, and he hissed, wincing as he turned away to try and escape it, and instead blinking as he was met with the sight of dark hair. It took a moment for his sleep-muddled mind to realise that he was laid next to Masamune’s head, and carefully he shifted so that when he lifted his head, he could see his partner’s voice. This close, and more awake it was impossible to miss the lines that hadn’t been there before, exhaustion and concern clearly having left their mark and he frowned, unintentionally tightening his grip on the hand clutched in his.

“Hmmm…” Masamune groaned, stirring. “What…?” Yukimura froze, cursing under his breath for having woken him when it was clear that his partner had needed the rest. Before he could say anything, Masamune had lifted his head, yawning widely, and then blinking as he found Yukimura staring at him. The smile that appeared was brighter and more heartfelt than anything he’d seen from the other man before. “Yukimura…” His name came out almost like a prayer before Masamune straightened and turned to look at him properly. “How are you feeling?”

Yukimura grimaced at the question, before cautiously shifting and trying to take stock of how he felt. “Sore,” he admitted finally, sensing that his usual ‘I’m fine’ wouldn’t be accepted or appreciated at the moment. The tension that greeted his response almost made him wish that he lied. “I’ll be fine though,” he added, nudging Masamune when he still hadn’t replied, and Masamune jerked and grimaced, before deliberately trying to get himself to relax a little.

“You’re going to be sore for a while, unfortunately, and that means you’re going to be stuck in bed until you’re given permission to be up and about.” Yukimura pouted at the reply that had come out just shy of an order, but rather than sympathy he was greeted by a stern look that would have put either of their Retainers to shame. “No arguments, you aren’t going to do anything that might risk your recovery.”

“Fine…”

Yukimura was too tired to really argue the point at the moment. Still, even as he voiced his agreement, he hoped that when the time came, he would be able to convince Masamune to at least lighten whatever restrictions they were planning on enforcing. Masamune scowled at him, not trusting the easy agreement in the slightest, realising that he was going to have a fight on his hands as soon as Yukimura was feeling stronger. However, that was a bridge he would cross when he had to, and banishing his scowl, he leant in and kissed Yukimura. “Thank you,” he murmured, pulling back enough so that he could meet Yukimura’s eyes, holding his gaze as he kept the promise he had made over and over during the waiting. “I love you.”  
  



	4. Chapter 4

For the first week of so following Yukimura’s awakening, there was no need for the others to scheme to keep him resting, as the injury had left him drained and weak, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was in no state to do anything but let them take care of him. During that time, he spent most of the time sleeping, often just dozing off in the middle of conversations and meals, and they had all learned to watch for the signs and either catch him or whatever he had been holding at the time. It meant that conversations were often circular, and they had to repeat themselves more than once and that sitting with him could be rather boring at times. However, none of them complained, as it was easier than having to fight with him about taking it easy, and gave them the time to plan for when he was ready to start pushing back against them. Although Sasuke hadn’t given them much hope when he’d pointed out that Yukimura was as stubborn if not more so than the late General.

Masamune spent most of his time with Yukimura, only venturing out when Kojuro and Sarutobi forcibly ejected him from the room, or a matter arose with his people that his second in command wasn’t able to handle without his input. Mercifully those times were few and far between, and he was always quick to return to Yukimura’s side, showing patience that no one would have thought him capable of before all this. Although the reason was there in the occasional haunted expression that would still appear on his face, the way his gaze would linger a little too long on the bandages, and the way he had startled awake several nights, Yukimura’s name on his lips.

It had been too close, and Masamune wasn’t going to forget that.

****  
Slowly as the days crept past, and one week became two and then three, Yukimura was able to stay awake longer, and the colour had returned to his face. Unfortunately, the signs of improvement came with the stubbornness and the desire to get up and about again that they had all been dreading. His first real attempt to escape had come during a rare moment when he had been alone as Masamune had slipped out of the room to speak to a messenger, refusing to go further than the corridor outside the room. He had just been turning to re-enter the room, where there had been a clatter, a sharp cry, followed by cursing that would have put his most seasoned men to shame, and he had burst back inside, to find Yukimura sprawled on the floor wincing and sheepish at being caught.

“I’m fine,” Yukimura protested, as Masamune continued to fuss around him after managing to get him back on the covers, checking the bandages, and searching for any fresh damage. Fortunately, the only injury seemed to be to Yukimura’s pride as he was flushed and clutching the edge of the covers with white-knuckled hands, frustration written across his face. “I just caught my foot on something…” It was a lie. Masamune had felt how he had been trembling when he’d eased him up, as he watched, he caught the flicker of pain that his partner couldn’t entirely hide. Still, there was no evident damage, so he settled for sitting beside Yukimura and scowling at him, although he would be bringing the fall up when the wound was checked later, just to be on the safe side.

“Sarutobi was right, you do have a strange definition of ‘fine’,” he muttered, glancing at the bandages again, unable to stop his gaze lingering a little too long. _Too close,_ he thought and closed his eye as frustration bubbled up. That injury could have stolen Yukimura away from him, and now his stubbornness was risking doing the same. The worst thing was that as much as he hated it, Masamune knew that he would be doing exactly the same if he was Yukimura’s place. _Which is why Kojuro had chuckled at Sarutobi’s words and said it sounded familiar_ , he realised sourly, before opening his eye and looking at Yukimura who was looking somewhat offended. Whether at his Shinobi’s words, or the fact that Masamune agreed with him, and it was almost enough to bring a smile to Masamune’s lips. Almost. Instead, he took a deep breath before meeting Yukimura’s gaze. “Why?”

“Why?” Yukimura echoed with a frown.

“Why did you take that shot for me? Why not just take out the gunman, or let…” Masamune trailed off, unable to finish that last bit, which was probably a good thing as Yukimura’s eyes had narrowed towards the end, anger briefly darkening his expression.

 _Why?_ It was a question that had plagued him in one form or another since he had seen Yukimura fall, haunting his waking moments and disturbing his dreams. He hadn’t meant to ask it now, knowing that it was probably too soon to be broaching the topic, and especially when Yukimura was frustrated with himself falling, and Masamune was irritated at him for trying to escape. Still, it was out in the open now, and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it, because he had been waiting for answers all this time, and he didn’t want to wait any longer. He needed to know, and he had to make sure that Yukimura never took such a risk again – ignoring the small voice that told him that it was a lost cause and that it would be hypocritical of him to ask as he would do the same. His stomach churning at the mere thought of ever having to go through this again.

“I wouldn’t have reached him in time,” Yukimura replied eventually, a simple statement of fact as he chose to answer the second and much simpler question before. “I barely got there in time as it was…” He trailed off, gaze turning distant for a moment, a shiver that had nothing to do with his earlier exertion working through his body as he thought back to the battle.

_Yukimura had lost track of Masamune for a moment as the tide of the battle began to turn in their favour. He never felt as alive as he did when he was fighting with or against the other man, and it had been a while since they had been able to go all out like this. There was a thrill in the battle. Fire rippling around him, as he ducked beneath a lunging swordsman’s strike, his spear disarming him with a swift wrench to the side, before he launched himself into a cluster of soldiers blasting them off their feet, spears a blur around him._

_He wasn’t sure what made him look. Something shifting in the air, a warning, a shiver down his spine. All, he could remember was turning, instinct more than anything letting him parry another strike, cutting his attacker down with a vicious thrust and twist of his spear, eyes widening as he finally spied Masamune. His partner was surrounded but easily holding his own. That wasn’t the problem, it was the gunman moving into position behind Masamune that had a chill seeping through him. The realisation that he was taking the position that Kojuro would usually guard against. Kojuro who wasn’t there but waiting for them to return._

_There was no conscious decision._

_No weighing of the risks, no time to second guess himself._

_“Masamune!” He shouted the warning even as he moved, knowing that it wouldn’t be enough. That there wasn’t enough time. That he was too far away from the gunman too, cut him down, but not too far to protect Masamune._

Yukimura closed his eyes for a moment and just breathed. He could still feel the pain of that moment, the instant realisation of what he had done, and what it might cost him, along with the relief that had burned just as bright as the agony of the wound, that Masamune was safe. He took a shuddering breath, moving one hand down to rest over the bandaged wound, half expecting to feel blood. _No, that’s over. I survived._ It wasn’t until he thought that, that he realised that at that moment that he had sprung into the path of that shot, he hadn’t expected to survive and that he had accepted that was the price he had to pay. Only he hadn’t paid it, and Masamune safe, watching him with a conflicted expression when he opened his eyes to look at him.

He saw the urge to offer comfort warring with the need for answers, and he fought back the urge to reach to out and seek comfort, as he tried to convince his voice to work again. Because as much as it had been instinct, and a desperate, overwhelming need to protect at the moment, there had been another reason. “I couldn’t let you get shot,” he whispered. “Not again.” It had been a fleeting realisation at the moment, but now he could think about it – remembering how it had been when Masamune had been injured by the Devil King’s Arquebus forces. They had only been rivals then, but he remembered the fear that had gripped him when Masamune had collapsed, the concern that had gnawed away at him until he knew that the other man was going to survive.

The thought of that happening now, after everything that had happened and what they had become…

Yukimura jumped when a warm hand grasped the hand still pressed against his bandages, unaware that he had looked away until he lifted his head to find that Masamune had shifted closer, kneeling beside him. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the expression on his partner’s face, there were understanding and irritation, worry and affection, and something else that he couldn’t quite put a finger on. The fingers that tangled with his, lingering over the wound for a moment, before Masamune lifted their linked hands away were gentle, as was his voice when he finally spoke. “Idiot.” He wanted to bristle at the insult, however, softly spoken, but Masamune’s other hand was gripping his chin, tilting his face up, forcing him to hold his gaze. “Don’t you realise that I feel exactly the same? That I would have given anything to take your place at that moment?”

“But…”

“But nothing,” Masamune cut across the protest, and for a moment he was the One-eyed Dragon, his voice stern, and crackling with the power that simmered beneath the surface. It was a fleeting reminder of his strength because then he was squeezing Yukimura’s hand again, subsiding, a man once more as he continued in a quieter voice. “I understand that you wanted to protect me, but you can’t do that again. I can’t…” He hesitated for a moment, fighting with himself before shaking his head. “I couldn’t bear to go through this again.” It was a weakness, one that he was loathed to admit even though he knew that Yukimura wouldn’t judge him, but his partner had admitted his fears and reasons, so how could he not do the same? Besides, there was truth in those words, just the thought of seeing Yukimura hurt again – especially if it was to protect him – left a leaden weight in the pit of his stomach, and it must’ve shown in his expression because Yukimura sighed.

“Can you promise me that you wouldn’t do the same if I was in danger?” Yukimura asked, meeting his gaze squarely, demanding an answer.

“No, I can’t…” Masamune admitted, unable to lie in the face of the fire crackling in the gaze locked on his face. He knew that even before this, if it came down to it, and it was a choice between himself and Yukimura, he would choose to protect the other man above all else. It shouldn’t have been as startling as it was, and he ignored the small voice born from the expectations that rested on his shoulders that told him there was more than one person depending on him. That he shouldn’t weigh one life above others, but he pushed it away. That realisation helped to cool his anger at what Yukimura had done, at how close he had come to dying for him, but it did not ease the guilt, the lingering fear at how close he had come to losing him.

“Then you know that I can’t either,” Yukimura replied, fingers curling around Masamune’s, holding him close. “The most we can do is promise to try and be more careful because as soon as one of us in trouble, the other is going to act.” He said it so simply, as though it was inevitable as the rising sun, and as Masamune looked at their linked hands, and then the bandages hiding the wound from the sight, he couldn’t help but think that Yukimura was right.

“I know,” he murmured, before scowling at Yukimura. “It doesn’t mean that I have to like it, though.” _Or that I won’t do everything in my power to make sure you are never faced with this decision again,_ he added silently, knowing that Yukimura knew where his thoughts had gone from the tightening grip, even as his partner chuckled at his words. Alive. Healing. It was enough for now, Masamune decided, letting a smile tug at his lips.  
  


**** ****

Yukimura was quiet as he slipped out from under the covers as the light crept inside, turning to look down at Masamune who was still deeply asleep, relaxed in a way he never was when awake, especially after everything that had happened. He lingered for a moment, just studying his partner before the reason for his early morning drew his attention away. He stretched, cautious and testing, there was a lingering ache in his abdomen, a stiffness that would take a little longer to fade, but not enough to keep him confined anymore. It had taken far too long in his mind to get to this point, and for the ridiculous restrictions that Masamune and their scheming retainers had put in place to finally be relaxed, let alone removed. Now, though he was free, and with more than ready to seize hold of that freedom with both hands as he padded across the floor.

It felt like coming home, as he slowly slipped into his armour. Each movement slow and methodical, trying not to rouse Masamune just yet, partially because he looked so peaceful, and because he also wasn’t convinced that his partner might try to convince him to rest a little longer. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, he told himself as he retrieved his spears, the weight comforting as he spared a last look at Masamune before slipping out of the room and into the early morning sunlight.

Despite his eagerness to return to normal, Yukimura had taken his time, moving through the familiar routine of his practice. Slow and cautious at first, testing himself, learning to adapt to the stiffness, finding that if he lunged too quickly to the right, it pulled enough to make him grimace, not quite painful but certainly not comfortable. He’d been building it up, picking up the pace and pushing a little further, and at least an hour had passed before he finally heard movement from inside the room. Pausing, mid-strike and grinning as he heard Masamune cursing at finding himself alone, unsurprised when he heard the footsteps stomping across the wooden floor towards the door that opened out into the courtyard, Masamune knowing exactly where he was.

He planted both spears in the ground and moved forward, reaching the edge of the walkway just as the door slid open, Masamune scowling at him. He met the glare with a grin, closing the last of the distance between them, and leaning up to kiss his partner. It took a moment for Masamune to respond, and another before he started to relax, and Yukimura waited until it was just bordering on too heated, before pulling back. Delighting in the growl his retreat earned him. “It’s about time you woke up,” he informed Masamune, before retreating, retrieving his spears as he went and glancing back over his shoulder, challenging and pleading all at once. Masamune had already been scowling, and expression darkened for a moment, knowing full well what Yukimura was doing before he turned abruptly and headed back inside.

Minutes crept passed, and Yukimura found himself shifting from foot to foot. He couldn’t hear anything from the room, and he was starting to think that he had pushed too far or that his partner had decided he wasn’t ready for this. Patience wasn’t his strongest suit at the best of times, let alone after so long laid up, and he had just opened his mouth to call out, when Masamune returned, dressed for combat and swords at his side.

“You must be feeling better if you’re teasing me like this,” Masamune commented, voice a low growl, and to anyone else, he would have sounded irritated. But Yukimura could see the smirk playing on his lip, as well as the lingering gaze, the worry that wasn’t entirely hidden, as his partner checked that he was really ready for this and Yukimura smiled and straightened.

“Want to test me?” He asked, holding Masamune’s gaze. _I’m fine, really._ A pause, Masamune assessing his words, his posture, hands slowly shifting to his swords and Yukimura grinned, anticipation building, the spark that came from facing Masamune filling him.

There was no warning, no tensing, but Yukimura knew how Masamune fought, and his spears were already up in a defensive period when Masamune charged, blue crackling in his wake. As their weapons met and locked in the middle, there was an explosion of magenta, as his fire flared in response, as eager as he was to be fighting again. It pulled on his midriff, but he ignored it, everything else melting away as their eyes met, sharing a matching grin before they separated and attacked again, settling into the familiar dance.


End file.
